Poem

No one knows
Exactly how it feels
To be that person
Whom never heals

To look back on childhood
And feel so torn
Between the love that was given
And the love that was scorned

To constantly be pulled
From one end to the other
To feel so much love
Yet hate towards my mother

To feel so much anger
And so much a shame
To wonder how
I could have changed

To feel thankful
For all the pain I’ve been through
Because without it
You wouldn’t be you

To be the one who tries
To get through all the muck
To try and be strong
And not give a fuck

To banish the pain
Within that little girl
Who had no defense
To her being cruel

I just want to stop bouncing
From “poor little me”
To “yes I am strong,
why wouldn’t I be?”

I just want to feel level
About everything
And stop feeling so crooked
And pulled like a string

I don’t want this anger
Pain and sadness
I don’t want to feel
Like one giant mess

Sometimes you have to
Except who you are
And learn to rebuild
Again from the start

One day I’ll get there
And be who I am
Until then I’m trying
As best that I can

 

– written by myself about a year or so ago.

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6 thoughts on “Poem

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